Per request, this will be a post of all the terms and definitions invented (mainly by mikefive) on this site.
Bob - (Bob)
Origin: that Coatesy interview with Bobrovsky, where he asked all sorts of incoherent, Coatesy-like questions, and the only thing Bob ever said in response was “Bob!” (ohnickels)
1. In response to a troll or someone who says something so outrageous or something you disagree with so much that it hurts or something that lacks all logic. Instead of trying to fight or argue or cause a huge ruckus, just say Bob and move on. (KreiderDesigns)
2. “Your argument isn’t even worth responding to” but much shorter to type.
Bruin - (BROO’-in)
v., tr. – To choke completely and utterly, in such a manner that history will be made; to collapse.
exs. They’re going to Bruin this season if they don’t wake the hell up; They’re Bruinning out there! I can’t believe it!
1) v. To shoot the puck "high and wide" by a large margin.
2) v. To fire on average 7 to 18 shots a game whether you have a shot, get the shot to goal, or are behind the goal.
ex. Ovechkin seems to Carter his entire career.
ex. JVR is really learning how to Carter well.
3) v. To hit the one inch of goalie in between him and the goal on an otherwise wide open net.
Cote - (Co-tay)
1. v. To repeatedly hit ones face into an opponent’s fist.
ex. The only thing Cote is good for is getting Coted.
2. v. To make the press box one’s home.
ex. Fortunately Ville Leino no longer has to Cote this postseason
The Fun Quotient is a rather complex equation. It is calculated by analyzing the complex relationship between:
ex. Fun Quotient = Bags of Popcorn Consumed (BP) x Blog Comments (BC)
By default, BP = 1 unless Travis eats more than one bag of popcorn. BC is a variable.
The term "quotient" is actually misleading, as it is reached by multiplication rather than division.
Say Travis eats half a bag of popcorn while reading a thread with 412 comments:
BP = 1/2
BC = 412
FQ = ½BP x BC
FQ = ½(1) × 412
FQ = ½ x 412
FQ = 206
Hartnell - (HART’-nəl)
1. v., intr. – To lose balance for no apparent reason.
ex. I can’t believe Richards just Hartnelled like that. He threw the play offsides.
2. v., tr. – To ruin something due to carelessness.
ex. He always seems to Hartnell the Flyers’ forecheck whenever he does one of those blind centering feeds from the half wall.
Hextall - (HEX-tall)
1. v. To aggressively play the puck behind the net leading to a goal against.
ex. Boosh decided to Hextall and turned the puck over to the Habs. 1-0 Canadiens
2. v. To let a seemingly easy shot go through a gaping 5-hole
ex. Wow, Leights Hextalled that one.
3. v. To force-feed a waffleboard to an opposing player.
ex. My favorite memory of Neil Little is when he Hextalled some unsuspecting Hershey Bear
JVT - (JAY’-vee-Tee’)
n. A statistical acronym which stands for Jones’ Value to Team. JVT is a variable which is used when calculating how valuable a player is to one’s team, especially if the player in question is not Randy Jones. Although a variable, JVT remains consistently higher for Randy Jones than for any other player, even if said other player is actually more valuable to his team than Randy Jones is or would be.
ex. Randy Jones had a ridiculously productive ten-game stretch. Even though he has been horrible since then, his JVT will remain higher than just about everyone on the Flyers’ roster. I can’t believe Homer got rid of him.
1) v. To rejoin a playoff roster and disrupt chemistry of the team.
ex. Shit, we’re up 3-0; dude’s totally gonna Lindros us!
2) n. Athletes parental units who are overly involved in childs’ professional career.
ex. McNabb’s parents were total Lindros’ during his early tenure in Philly.
1) When a player is forced into exile or removed from the team under an unknown auspice and sent into banishment to the point that it may actually ruin his entire career forever.
ex. if Zherdev sits in another press box, I swear, him and his career are close to being Maroon’d.
1) exc. Expression of sheer joy, usually following a big or game-winning goal.
ex. OMGagne! We win!
(Also known as a "Rothenbooster")
n. Mysterious and powerful, invoked by its one true master, Ben Rothenberg. A slumping player is given the Rothenboost, and responds by being the best thing on ice.
Origins: “I don’t care if Leino never plays another game for the Flyers”, Rothenberg.
The Rothenboost’d Leino then scores 1 goal and 1 assist in his next game.
The first Rothenboost seems to be the most powerful and long-lasting, evidenced by Leino’s play since first obtaining it, other Rothenboosts tend to last for a period or 1-2 games.
SCIF (Steve Coates Incomprehensibility Factor)
A simple mathematical relationship used to quantify the merits of a rambling statement.
SCIF = (w/p) x (a +1)
Where w is the word count in a statement, p is the number of points made by said statement, and a is the amount of times the words absolutely or obviously are used. A 1 is added to the equation so SCIF cannot be equal to zero. More importantly, p CAN be equal to zero, in which case the SCIF equation explodes and the statement in question is to be regarded as infinitely incomprehensible.
He shoots, he scores!!!
w=4, p=1, a=0, therefore SCIF = 4
_ex. You see here, the key to this goal here is that he SHOOTS THE PUCK, and you know what they say, get the puck to the net and GOOD THINGS HAPPEN, ladies and gentlemen, and here is absolutely the perfect situation in which he is able to do just that right, riiiiiiiiiiight… HERE. And obviously the goalie has NO chance because it absolutely just goes right in the net and he has no chance to get there in time, there is no two questions about. _
w=85, p=1, a=3, therefore SCIF = 340
As you can see by the above examples, SCIF is directly proportional to incomprehensibility.
Seidenberg’s Uncertainty Principle - The variable success rate of undersized, though skilled, defensemen who enter the National Hockey League as members of the Philadelphia Flyers. Seidenberg’s Uncertainty Principle usually cannot be resolved until the defensemen in question leave the Flyers for another team, whether via trade, free agency, or waivers. Named for German-born defenseman Dennis Seidenberg who was under-sized and underwhelming as a member of the Flyers late in the “Dead Puck” Era (1995-2004), but who has since come into his own in the “New NHL.”
(See Also: Meyer, Freddy; Ex-Philadelphia Athlete)
When a player that usually is mediocre rises to the occasion whenever one particular star comes to town.
Upshall - (UP’-shawl)
v., tr. – To completely ruin something due to lack of foresight and/or financial constraints.
ex. Homer completely Upshalled the team last year in February.
This item was written by a member of this community and is not necessarily endorsed by Broad Street Hockey.