Measuring the "Aw" Response

What with the Flyers’ second round exit and Bryz’s gaffe, Giroux’s suspension, Jagr’s plans, anyone’s intent, and all the injuries you would think any one of these would be the number one post-season topic. But, no, judging by the number of recent articles (five!) it seems that our back-up goalie, Sergei Bobrovsky, is the number one issue facing the Flyers.

We at BSH have discussed and speculated about Bob’s future with the Flyers but I didn’t realize what a big deal it really was until now. However, it took this observation by Brad Ennis, contributing editor to Bleacher Report, to point me to an epiphany about Bob.

Keeping Bobrovsky can only have negative repercussions the longer he remains with the club. Any time Bryzgalov struggles, Philly fans and the media alike will be calling for Bobrovsky. Add to that the constant criticisms that surround the Flyers' goaltending as a whole, and keeping Bobrovsky as Bryzgalov’s backup could be devastating for the mental makeup of the team’s netminders.

Wow. My first thought was "Boy, this is perfect Geoff-bait." But then I thought, "hey, maybe Brad is on to something here." It comes down to this.

Bob is too adorable.

His adorableness is what makes us fans "calling for Bobrovsky". He is obviously more adorable than Bryz so naturally if Bryz falters, we call for Bob. We need someone as a backup that is not only less adorable than Bob but less adorable than Bryz. But how to measure this? Maybe we can come up with a new metric and call it the


Yes, a metric to measure one’s adorableness. A standard to rank the things that make Bob so adorable that our response every time is "Aw". We could then rate players on their Bobsi factor. So many points for eye color (blue>brown), hair color, country (Russia wouldn’t get many but add Siberia and the cuteness factor just naturally goes up), a player’s non-ability to speak English, getting lost ("I’m sorry, Scotty, my navigator failed…") etc.

Extra points could be earned during the season for things done or said that elicit the "Aw" response. Like calling your wife "Beloved". 20 points right there. (Sorry Z, hitting her car with a club will cost you points). The ability to still look adorable while sitting next to… Well, you get the picture.

Just think of the possibilities. Not just goalies. No. You could use Bobsi to determine line matchings, defensive pairings, roommates. The applications of this new tool are endless.

I think our resident statisticians should get on this right away. We need to get a measure of Bryz’s adorableness and then look at all the back-ups being proposed to see who would be a best pairing with Ilya.

So when Bob, the gold standard of adorableness, should leave the Flyers, we’ll at least have Bobsi.

This item was written by a member of this community and is not necessarily endorsed by <em>Broad Street Hockey</em>.

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