Predators fan hates Shea Weber, writes gloriously vulgar country song

Ever since the Nashville Predators matched Shea Weber's 14-year, $110 million offer sheet from the Philadelphia Flyers, the defenseman has said all the right things: He's always loved Nashville, is happy and excited to play the rest of his career there, etc.

That's likely true: Sure, he clearly had a desire to play in Philly, as evidenced by the fact that he accepted the Flyers massive offer sheet, but by doing so he directly put the ball in Nashville's court. Whether or not he thought the Predators were going to match or not, the chance was always there. You don't just risk the chance of being tied down somewhere for 14 years if you truly never want to play there again.

Don't tell that to one Predators fan, though. His name is Curly Clump and he likely hates Shea Weber more than anybody on this planet. Curly wrote a song about Shea -- it's called "Hey, Ol' Shea" -- and it's just ... wow. By no means is it appropriate or endorsable or safe for work, but we just can't help but pass it along to you.

It's too ... too .... well, see for yourself if you dare:

SERIOUSLY: THIS IS YOUR WARNING. Clicking play will open you to a whole new world of vulgarity.

Of course, we couldn't help but transcribe the lyrics:

Hey, ol' Shea
What else can a Tennessean say?
You's thought you was all gone away
But now you's here to stay

Well, skies are always sunny
When you're makin' lots of money
Bangin' bushels of Southern honey's
The little plump ones bounce like bunnies

Hey, ol' Shea
What else can a Tennessean say?
Neither General Grant
Nor a turncoat in gray
Could ever piss me off in such a way

You 6'4 stack of steamin' shit
If you don't like it here then fuckin' quit
My oldest sister's got two fat crooked tits
I know you'll like the taste when they're dipped in grits

You selfish bitch
You greedy fuck
Suter blew
But you suck!

Hey, ol' Shea
What else can a Tennessean say?
Do you really think we oughta pay
For your money grubbin' asshole ways?

If I was in ol' Davey's shoes
I'd pawn your ass off to those Ohio Blues
Give ya 13 years of bad, bad news
But you'll be rich!
Who cares if they always lose?

Hey, ol' Shea
What else can a Tennessean say?
Well I'm not sure if you're straight or gay
But Music City's ass is bleedin' everyday

We're givin' you most of our hard earned cash
Won't be no surprise if the banks all crash
People down here don't mind a little trash
But all your bullshit has got us sour mashed

You selfish bitch
You greedy fuck
Lincoln blew
But you suck!

Hey, ol' Shea
What else can a Tennessean say?
I've got a mule with more integrity
And a sheep who shows more love for me

Well you're good at slammin' heads into the glass
Yeah, we already knew you got no class
We eat craw dads, catfish, crappie bass
So take your caviar and stick it up your fancy ass

Hey, ol' Shea
What else can a Tennessean say?
Your little mouth is cute and purty
And your beard would make my dick think it's a pussy

Some of the lines in there definitely made me fidget uncomfortably in my chair a little bit, and it all seems like a ton of misdirected anger at a guy who is clearly (in my opinion, at least) happy to be in Nashville, playing for the Preds.

But I have to say, I'm impressed with the deep knowledge of the situation: He knows that Weber can't get traded for a year -- thus the 13 year remark -- and a good Blue Jackets joke is always okay.

h/t Backhand Shelf

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