REACHAROUNDS FOR EVERYBODY!: Flyers 5, Senators 0

Matt Read achieves entry. - Jana Chytilova/Freestyle Photo

The Flyers won convincingly and made sure everybody had a fun night!

The Flyers seemed to have figured out this whole hockey thing recently. They scored lots of goals goals and didn't allow the other team to score any, a scientifically-proven sound methodology for being good at this game. Really good, even. 5-0 is really good!

So don't forget how to do this, boys! This is working really well right now!

  • Read got things off to a quick start for the Flyboys by picking the puck off the back side of the net and slamming around for a reacharound score that snuck up on Craig Anderson from behind. It was just the kind of goal the Flyers could use more of if they're going to win hockey games, aka it was a game-winning goal. Matt's mustache tells me this isn't the first time he's scored in that sort of dirty fashion.
  • One would assume that the Senators would have learned from their mistake in their first period. It was not the case, and so the Flyers scooped themselves a heaping helping of seconds with yet another reacharound, this time courtesy of the hands of Jake Voracek. The Flyers managed to do their best work from behind without ever trailing in this game. That's pretty special.
  • The third goal of the night was also by Voracek, this time slamming it home from the front after a tic-tac-toe play that would have made even the best Hollywood Squares contestants of all-time jealous. Wayne Simmonds, in the role of Center Square, was twirly and magnificent.
  • Halfway through the game it looked completely guaranteed that the Flyers were going to win, which was a fun feeling. Vinny Lecavalier scored all the same because he's old and at that age where he honestly doesn't give a fuck what the score is. He scored a second time as well except Brayden Schenn stole it from him because little brothers are super annoying.
  • Each time I heard it I became less and less convinced that the world is pronouncing "Wiercioch" correctly.
  • Not going to lie, I missed the first few minutes of this game because I was over at a friend's apartment judging how many people could fit on her new couch since she's hosting Friendsgiving on Saturday. Friendsgiving is like Thanksgiving, except with people you choose to like instead of ones you're obliged to genetically (not that I don't love all of you, family members who might be reading this). I was thinking that the Flyers are sort of like the actual Thanksgiving family, in that I really didn't choose them, couldn't trade them for another team if I tried at this point, and each the summer big chunks of them disappear and never come back. If they keep playing like this, though, I think I'll be able to call them my friends again, too.
  • Between play CSN Philadelphia showed several excerpts from Ray Shero's Hall of Fame induction speech for his father, Fred. I love the old-timey Flyers and still have no fewer than three VHS tapes celebrating their glory days, but my God that sounded like the most boringest speech ever.
  • On the topic of former Flyers, apparently Steve Downie made his way back to this team again? He was wearing a mask, which is smart. I have a friend who has always insisted that if he played in the NHL he would wear a full face mask at all times, and that players who don't are stupid. My friend never made it to the NHL, if you were wondering.
  • Ottawa Senators LW Clarke MacArthur was named Third Star of the Game despite his team losing 5-0. In related news, Stars of the Game are horseshit.
  • Steve Mason is a stellar super amazing goaltender, ICYMI. He's A-MASON-G, even. 24 shots, 24 saves. He was not named one of the game's three stars.
  • The other guy wasn't awful, either. The second period ended with Craig Anderson doing some of the best paddling I've ever witnessed. No, Claude Giroux, you may not have another.
  • Even though the Flyers won, and have scored more goals in their last two games (9) than they did in the five games prior to that (4), they remain fairly crapped on in terms of the standings, down at 13th in the East. I'm pretty sure, though, that by covering themselves in poop to begin with, they will blossom into something big and beautiful by the time all is said and done. That's just Fertilizer 101, you guys.
  • Do you remember how in Diddy Kong Racing for N64 how there's that grumpy walrus boss you have to beat in the snow world? For some reason I kept thinking of him every time they showed the Ottawa bench tonight. If conventional coaching tactics aren't enough to turn the Senators around, Paul Martin should try declaring a Silver Coin Challenge.
  • ! ROTHENBERG RECAP RIDDLE #2 ! What fictional character was nominated for a Juno for his work promoting the Ottawa Senators arena, an award he was resigned to knowing he would lose to Uncle Joey?

Questions Answered:

1. Does Giroux's offensive explosion come now? No, but no one really noticed since all the guys around him were exploding spectacularly, like the guy on those webuyanycar.com commercials. That guy totally isn't annoying or anything.

2. How's Steve Downie look? Hard to tell, you could only see him in mini squares thanks to that birdcage on his head.

3. How many times is Bobby Ryan's childhood home mentioned on the CSN broadcast? Never, to my knowledge.

Comment of the Night:

JAKE FROM STATE FARM -psu_nitlion

True to my word, I will be here so long as this team keeps winning. Already making myself at home, for better and worse.

In Pittsburgh tomorrow night to Consol-idate the streak. Go Flyers.

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