SCHENN BRIGHT LIKE A DIAMOND: Flyers 2, Penguins 1

I'm on my grind, Jussi. Don't block my Schenn, Jussi. - Justin K. Aller

The Flyers just keep on winning for some reason you guys! Hooray!

Like, the Flyers weren't supposed to win tonight at all. But they did!

One night after beating the Senators in Ottawa, the Flyers went to Pittsburgh and beat the Penguins 2-1 for what was somehow their third straight win. This is the best terrible team ever!

  • Showing remarkable improvement from last night, this time I was only 19 seconds late tuning in. But as soon as I flipped on Channel 220 (DIRECTV 4 LYFE) I heard a loud goal horn and saw a happy Penguin and the Flyers were already losing. But then the referees thought better of it and reviewed the goal and it turned out Chris Kunitz had kicked the puck in. It was a welcome reprieve from losing, to be sure, but I've never really understood that rule. Why is kicking the puck into the net illegal? Like, you can kick it anywhere else on the ice, but not into the net? How does that make sense? If they made the rules of hockey all over again from scratch starting tomorrow, I'm pretty sure kicking would be legal. But for now, it's not, so suck it, Pittsburgh, I guess.
  • Penguins got a power play after Brayden Schenn went stomping through Flower's garden, and it was one of the worst power plays I've ever seen. But did you know, despite being bad in all other measures of the game, the Flyers actually have the league's 7th best penalty kill? Weird! The Penguins scored a power play goal eventually later on but that undermines my brilliant use of statistics so I ask you to please disregard.
  • All sorts of fancy clip art is on the NBC Sports telestrator now, like arrows that fade from red to yellow and bright circles and things that move and shit. It's really dumb looking and a complete waste of technology, sorry guys. Telestration is best when done by hand, because then it looks like a coach drawing up a play on a chalkboard, and drawing on chalkboards is FUN and you get to do it vicariously through Ed Olczyk or whoever in that moment. Why you heff to kill my fun?
  • Couple of minutes after he snuck out of the penalty box, Brayden Schenn scored a goal after Wayne Simmonds passed to him. Using trade math, Mike Richards would have scored that goal by himself.
  • Eventually Pittsburgh tied up the game in the second on a goal from Sidney Crosby. It was sort of all Nick Grossmann's fault, but it's hard to stay mad at him when you remember that his mom makes those awesome stickers.
  • Being the generally annoying fellow that he is, Evgeni Malkin tried to tie up Sean Couturier in some bullshit. But Couturier, affable seahorse that he is, rose above the bullshit. Seahorses are NOT about some bullshit.
  • A cluster of penalties that started with Claude Giroux reacting negatively to getting slashed in the wrist (who wouldn't?) gave the flyers a short 5-on-3, then a longer 5-on-4 that saw Schenn score again. Hey kid, Mike Richards used to score too, you know, stop thinking you're so special. From there on Ray Emery was really good, and made a bunch of fairly easy but still reassuring glove saves. He was good tonight, but Emery was never my favorite goalie, being too jittery and hyperactive. I like my goalies like I like my peanut butter: smooth, nutty, and with enough in the tank to last a few months.
  • Real early in the third period I was getting sort of bored so I got some ice cream. I didn't scoop out very much ice cream because I like to keep my sprinkles-to-ice cream ratio absurdly high, and if I keep the amount of ice cream low then I don't have to use that many sprinkles. Also kind of sprinkles I buy are the best kind of sprinkles, i.e. the little round hard ones used in nonpareils, not the softer longer ones. The hard round ones add way more texture and disperse far more easily to insure far fewer sprinkle-free bites. Canada understands the supremacy of the small hard awesome sprinkle so clearly that Tim Hortons in Canada actually puts those kind of sprinkles on their sprinkles donuts, which is a GAME CHANGER. It's an entirely different donut experience. I went to a Tim Horton's in New York City once all excited for those hard sprinkles but found out that they used the normal American-style jimmies. Total crap. Do you think we aren't ready for awesome sprinkles in the States, Mr. Tim Horton's CEO? I assure you, WE ARE READY.
  • Schedules are weird. The Flyers don't play the Penguins again for over four months, not until March 15th. At least we get more games against Columbus under this new alignment, I guess?
  • ? ROTHENBERG RECAP RIDDLE #3 ? Once upon a time my favorite Flyer got traded to the Penguins and then to the L.A. Kings, so I got an L.A. Kings magnet as a present. Who was my favorite Flyer?

Questions Answered:

  1. Any signs of fatigue on the tail end of a back-to-back? Only on the part of your recapper. I forgot how much work it is paying attention during an entire regular season hockey game.
  2. Since it's Flyers-Penguins, does anything particularly ridiculous happen? "Particularly ridiculous" is in the eye of the beholder, but I'm going to say no?
  3. Do we see the offense from the last two games that's been really good or the one from the weeks prior that was bad? Somewhere in between. I mean, two goals isn't going to win you most hockey games.
  4. Can the Flyers keep Malkin's goalless streak going? Yes, but it was also a lot of his own doing. He's clearly not all that much into scoring anymore, and we should respect that lifestyle choice.
  5. How's Ray Emery do? To paraphrase my earlier assessment, he's pretty good but he'd be better covered in peanut butter.

Comment of the Night:

(3 game streak? I think it's pretty obvious that we're on a rocketship ride to cuptown. Just give it to us now. -Nooie)

More like a rothenship. BOOM nailed it -bige120291

I had absolutely no intention of writing four straight recaps about this hockey team, but here I am. I won't take all the credit for their success (JK, JK, I totally will), and I'm admittedly pretty confused about what's been going on here.

I'm less confused about when their next game is, though: Friday night in Winnipeg. Are the Flyers man(itoban) enough to make it four in a row? Tune in next time to find out. Go Flyers.

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