Regular hockey fan: "Hey I heard the Flyers got a new defenseman....McDonald, I think."
Hockey Analytics Super fan: "Ugh! Yeah. It sucks so bad. That guy is like the worst ever. Paul Holmgren is so stupid. He never looks at stats or anything. He's just another shot blocker. That's it. We already have Grosmann to block shots, we don't need any more of that."
"Really, I thought they said he was good."
"C'mon man...don't fall for the party line. Those guys at Comcast just say whatever the Flyers want them to say. Trust me McDonald has like the worst Corsi in the whole NHL."
"The worst what?"
"Corsi! It's like this new stat that measures all the important stuff about hockey and doesn't bother with stupid irrelevant stats like plus/minus."
"Wait, I don't get it what does it measure?"
"It's like....umm....you know....it's ahh...it's like the thing...with the puck and all."
"So what's his problem? Is he really slow or something?
"Nah, he actually has a little speed. He's not the fastest ever but he's not even close to the slowest."
"He's one of those guys that hardly plays then, right? And when he does he gets all the easy assignments?
"No, he averaged about 25 minutes per game and went up against the toughest competition for his last team."
"Is he one of those guys who can't get the puck out of our zone?"
"Well, no. He has a decent first pass. It's not the greatest, but it's ok."
"But he never scores any points, right?"
"Ahh....no, that's not it. He actually has the second most points of all our defensemen."
"What about power play and penalty kill, he can't do that right?"
"Well, I mean....he's on the second power play unit...and of course he kills penalties."
"So he's probably making too much money then...killing our salary cap situation."
"Umm, not really. He only makes like $550,000. He might be the lowest paid Flyer, I'm not sure."
"You said before he blocks shots?"
"Ugh yes. It is what he's known for. He like leads the league or something...it sucks so bad.
"I thought it was a good thing to block shots?"
"No! No. No. Nooo. The guys who are bad always have to block shots because the other team is good and shooting the puck."
"But I thought that other guy...you know the one who got hit in the face with the puck and had to retire...we loved him because he blocked a lot of shots."
"Yeah, Ian Laperiere. That's different. That guy had a lot of heart and laid it on the line every shift."
"So, he isn't slow, he has a decent first pass, plays the power play and penalty kill, scores, blocks shots, logs a lot of minutes, and takes on the toughest assignments. But you think he sucks because his Corset is too low."
"Not Corset, you idiot, Corsi."
"Explain that to me again."
"It's like....umm....you know....it's ahh...it's like the thing...with the puck and all. It's really, really important. You just don't get it man."
"If you say so."
This is just a little humor. I'm having some fun at the diehard corsi guys' expense. If you are really mad right now, you need to lighten up a bit. Have a nice day everyone. Watch the Flyers and enjoy the game. And welcome to Mr. McDonald.