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Wishes for my Gonewhiletime

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According to our photo cache, this is what Australia looks like.  (Photo by Hamish Blair/Getty Images)
According to our photo cache, this is what Australia looks like. (Photo by Hamish Blair/Getty Images)
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I'm leaving for Australia in a few hours, and won't be back until February or so. And while I have heard speculation that they have internet down under, I'm probably not going to have much time to keep up with my beloved Flyboys or BSH.

So with that in mind, I've come up with some things I would like for the Flyers to do during my gonewhiletime.

1. Win the Winter Classic...or get shut out. I'd like for the Flyers to win the Winter Classic, obviously. I want no part of the Rangers winning in Philadelphia ever, but especially not in this hugely hyped spectacle. Ideally, the Flyers would win by a score like 9-1. But if for some reason the Flyers don't win, I'd like for them to get shut out, so as to keep a certain player's NHL record for "most goals scored in a ballpark while wearing orange" intact. Or, you know, they could just trade for Danny Syvret and have him score for him in this edition of the WC, too. Either way, really.

2. Beat the Blackhawks, ideally in overtime via the five-hole. Again, not much explanation required. The Blackhawks return to the Well for the first time since the 2010 Finals on Thursday. They best not win.

3. Pick on scrubs for a while. Anything less than six points in a stretch of the schedule that goes Senators-Senators-Hurricanes-Islanders would not be okay.

4. Beat the Bruins on NBC, FFS. In a lot of ways, the Bruins are the team that bothers me most right now. Out of nowhere, they're suddenly really good right now. If the Canadiens hadn't choked in the first round last year, the Bruins would have stayed as innocuous at ever, but now they're the smuggest franchise in history with only one conference finals appearance over the previous 20 years. Just make them go away. Or at least beat them.

5. Do the All-Star Game proud. And by All-Star Game, of course, I mean the AHL All-Star Game in Atlantic City on January 30th. This is a huge hockey event fairly near a lot of you, and going out there to support whatever Phantoms or former Flyers make the cut would be super awesome. The NHL All-Star Game is in Ottawa, a place that's considerably less exciting.

See you in February, folks. Here's hoping Punxsutawney Phil doesn't see his shadow, or whatever.

(If you're already missing me and want to follow me in Australia, you can either here or here).