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Stanley Cup Final 2013: Why I'm rooting for Chicago

Jeremy Jacobs sucks.

Jim Rogash

Aside from our good friend Patrick Sharp, the Chicago Blackhawks and their goddamned goal song can go to hell. Patrick Kane's mullet can lead the way.

But despite being a little bitter about 2010, the Blackhawks don't even hold a candle to the Boston Bruins in the "evil" department. I'm not talking about Brad Marchand being a little weasel or Claude Julien being a whiny cartoon or Tyler Seguin being a wannabe Kane, even though all of that is true.

I'm talking about the Bruins -- namely, the guy who writes their checks, Jeremy Jacobs -- being truly everything that is wrong with professional sports. Remember that lockout thing? The thing that cost us half a hockey season? The thing that for four months last winter literally kept food of people's tables across North America?

It was largely the Bruins fault. Largely their owners fault. Hell, even Bruins fans hate the guy. He was the hardliner of hardliners during the 2004-05 lockout, and repeated the feat during the 2012-13 lockout. From Puck Daddy back during the work stoppage:

Instead, it's Jeremy Jacobs, hardline [expletive] that's silencing dissent (well, allegedly) and continuing to drive this maddening work stoppage. He knows he can be a bully so long as seven other owners fall in line behind Bettman, giving the commissioner protection from any vote to end the lockout.

(Also, if you remember, Ed Snider quickly became part of the dissent against Jacobs and the hardliners. So it's not just "all rich guys suck" syndrome here.)

Jacobs isn't just awful in labor dispute situations, though. He might actually be the personification of C. Montgomery Burns.

Oh, and in his outside-of-hockey life, he's probably even worse a human being.

There's this little nugget from SB Nation contributor Ryan Rosenblatt:


And the horse thing. He's involved in some fancy rich guy horse dancing palace in Wellington, Fla., and when the common folk came and raided the place once (or, more accurately, an Akon concert came to town), Jacobs' minions got all up in arms. How dare THOSE PEOPLE invade our paradise!?

"That didn't go over too well," said Mason Phelps, a former equestrian who today serves as a Jacobs family spokesman in Wellington. "Nor did we want to attract the kind of people the Akon concert would attract to this community.... The people that go and listen to and like Akon are not Wellingtonites. It's just a different crowd of people. I don't mean to sound like a snob, but this is a fairly upscale community, and we don't need to bring the low- and middle-income hooligans into town and have them all of a sudden say, Wow, good pickins' out here."

If this piece of shit gets to touch the Stanley Cup in the next two weeks, we all lose. Go Blackhawks.