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5 reasons the Flyers-Bruins game proves that Hextall will regret the Remaldo trade

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This team had one player with heart Remaldo. That was it.

Come back, sweet prince.
Come back, sweet prince.
Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sports

Let me come right out and say it -- I never liked the Zac Remaldo trade. And after last night, I am 100 percent certain that the Philadelphia Flyers will end up regretting it too.

Of course, this should come as no surprise to those of you who already know that I'm a good opinion haver, but I figured for the sake of new readers, I'd spell it all out for you.

See, now that we're deep into the 2015-2016 NHL season, there are a number of data points we can analyze. Unfortunately, all of them point to bad news for Flyers general manager Ron Hextall, who capriciously traded the Flyers star winger for a measly third round pick.

I've come to learn that some of my opinions are a bit too complex and correct for average readers to fully comprehend in large chunks, so let's break this down piece by piece:

He's already clearly the Bruins' leader

I know what you're thinking: "how can Remaldo be the Bruins leader when Zdeno Chara is still in town?" That's a good question, but it's also very stupid.

Before the game started, NBC's Pierre McGuire -- a guy who is commonly referred to as the Walter Cronkite of sports journalism -- kept referring to the fact that Bruins center Patrice Bergeron just had a son.

Before the game started, Pierre mentioned the name of Bergeron's son and I was literally blown away: Zac[k] Bergeron.

Is it possible that Bergeron named his son after the new de facto leader of the Bruins? Perhaps the only one with heart? You don't have to be a rocket scientist to realize that the answer is an emphatic yes.

Everyone on the planet thinks that Bergeron is an #elite player with great hockey sense. The fact that he correctly named his son after Remaldo just further proves that.

Remaldo is the cleanest player in the league now

I'm not going to lie, today was a bit like Christmas for me, what with all the steaming hot Remaldo takes that were bound to be served up by the inimitable Philly beat writer corps. Former Flyers™ tend to get them all hot and bothered, so you can imagine my excitement.

Of course the best observation of the day came from a spelling and basic grammar error riddled column by my favorite hockey expert, Randy Miller of NJ.com.

One of the biggest knocks against Remaldo during his time in Philly is that he got too many penalties (all of which were bullshit anti-Flyers agenda penalties, by the way). Is that kind of behavior carrying over to the Bruins?

Nope. And that won't change one bit. According to Randy Miller, the fact that Remaldo has zero minor penalties through the first five games proves that he's a changed man:

Which was more shocking, the Flyers getting a 2017 third-round draft pick for Zac Rinaldo in an offseason trade or the instigating bad boy not taking a minor penalty in his first five games for his new team?

[…]

Seeing Rinaldo react so calm isn't the norm, but before the season he did proclaim to have taken a new leaf as a more intelligent and cleaner player.

"I'm a little more mature in the sense of when to ease up on some hits, when to fight, when not to fight," Rinaldo, 25, told the Boston Globe in September. "I'm matured a lot over the year."

Surprisingly, it's showing.

There you go, folks. Remaldo is a changed man. What about the 10 minute misconduct that Remaldo has on the season, you ask? Just another bullshit reputation penalty, according to Miller.

I think that with such a large sample -- five games -- it's fairly safe to say that Remaldo is the presumptive 2015-2016 Lady Byng winner, which is indisputable because I said so. It's not like at the start of every season since he's been in the NHL, our beloved Philly beat writers have tried to rehabilitate his reputation.

"But Remaldo got a game misconduct in that game"

Oops. Maybe Randy was a bit premature and wrong in his analysis (a real rarity).

Wait, on second thought, scratch that. I don't think the important thing about Remaldo's penalty for charging Sean Couturier is that he got a penalty. Or that he's a totally reckless turd nugget. Don't focus on that.

Instead, focus on the fact that Remaldo was able to commit a penalty against Couturier. I personally don't think much of the overrated center, but the fact remains that he's considered a top six guy in the NHL. The fact that Claude Julien is comfortable matching Remaldo up against him should speak volumes about Remaldo's hockey ability.

What's even more impressive is that Claude Giroux, the Flyers (bad) captain was also on the ice when the Remaldo penalty happened. Perhaps Julien was matching his future captain against a current captain? Makes you think…

But back to the penalty. First off, we all know that hits like that can "change the game" -- hell, tonight it literally rallied the Bruins to score a shorthanded goal (a scientific FACT). Secondly, it was yet another bullshit reputation call anyway:

Remaldo was skating on the third line for the Bruins. The. Third. Line.

Correct me if I'm wrong, here, but didn't Flyers coach Craig Berube (who was fired over his handling of Remaldo) bury Remaldo on the fourth line? Well, it seems that in just five games, Remaldo has improved enough to be a top nine player.

For a perfectly fairr and accurate comparison, let's take a look at the Flyers third line tonight. Sam Gagner, Scott Laughton, and R.J. Umberger. All three of them are first round picks -- something that Remaldo is undoubtedly worth now due to reasons. I bet all of you fans that thought Ron Hextall committed highway robbery by getting a third round pick for Remaldo don't feel that way now.

Look, if you think the Flyers have enough forward depth to get rid of top nine talent for peanuts, I'm not saying you're stupid per se, but you've obviously never played the game.

The Flyers were literally scared of Remaldo

Remember when the Flyers traded Remaldo and I accurately predicted that the move would give the Bruins a leg up over the Flyers? Yeah, it seems again I am right in my analysis.

Just take a look at this context free quote from Ryan White, obtained from the Randy Miller take mentioned above.

"There's always a guy on every team you've got to worry about and we all know what Reno brings."

Read that again a few more times.

The Bruins have guys like Brad Marchand, Patrice Bergeron, and Zdeno Chara on their team. Those guys apparently have nothing on Remaldo when it comes to striking fear into opponents. Ron Hextall may have been OK with not having Remaldo on the Flyers, but it seems he overlooked the fact that the Flyers would have to face him on the ice once in a while, much to the detriment of team morale.

Good GMs don't do that.

*****

So there you have it -- conclusive evidence that the Flyers made a huge mistake. Hopefully Tyrell Goulbourne will rightfully make the leap to the NHL and mitigate some of the negative effects of that mistake.