Congrats to the Pittsburgh Penguins, who despite not losing a playoff series in over two years, still remain our pathetic little brother.
Here are some scenes from the parade today in Pennsylvania’s eighth-finest city:
Here are people on a parade route, celebrating their team at the pinnacle of their sport — and yet still finding it important to tweet taunts at their cross-state rivals, a team that didn’t even make the playoffs this year:
And a sense of where Penguins fans heads’ have been since watching their team win the Cup a few days ago:
Days since the Flyers last Stanley Cup win: 15,359— Dave Anderson (@The_Yinzer) June 14, 2017
Days since the Penguins last Stanley Cup win: 3
Championships since 1974:— Blitzburgh (@Steel_Curtain4) June 12, 2017
Days since the Flyers last Stanley Cup: 15,356— Kayla Buckstein (@amerikayla) June 12, 2017
Days since the Penguins last Stanley Cup: 0
I am not a fan that’s used to seeing my teams win, but I do have at least a little experience. The Phillies won a World Series in 2008, and at the time had a pretty hate-filled rivalry with the New York Mets. Do you know how many times I thought about the Mets at that parade in October ‘08?
Exactly zero times. I was just fucking euphoric. Fuck everybody else, you know? My team just won.
Pittsburgh has one of the greatest hockey players to ever play the game on their team. They have the luck of the world on their side, as evidenced by this recent playoff run in which they defied the odds in at least two of their four playoff series wins. They’re really good. They have three Stanley Cup titles in eight seasons. They have nothing to complain about. And yet.
We’re never leaving the inside of Pittsburgh’s heads. It’s not bad, either. Rent’s cheap at least. I guess we should paint or get new furniture or something.