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Flyperblog: The Gritty Proposal

Dear Flyers, let’s utilize Gritty to his fullest potential

New York Rangers v Philadelphia Flyers Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images



Subject: Increased Use of Gritty

Everyone loves Gritty. Men, women, children, THE ELDERLY. He’s a bonafide superstar and we need to keep the Grit train a-rollin’.

My proposal is to make Gritty a key part of your proposal! I’ll explain. You’re at the Wells Fargo Center with your significant other. Gritty comes to your section. Everyone is pumped. But, oh no, one of Gritty’s googly eyes falls off! Children are screaming, there is pandemonium, oh god. The person proposing picks up the eye and finds that it can be opened. What’s inside? An engagement ring. BOOM. That’s romance, Gritty style.

The Gritty wedding business can be drastically expanded beyond proposals. Gritty can simultaneously give the bride away and his beard can act as a veil. Gritty can be a one man band. Gritty can stomp on a glass with an adorable squeak. Gritty can cover up that thing you shouldn’t have done at that gentleman’s establishment at 3 am. No, you’re not welcome back, Gritty can’t do anything about that. But, the Big G will make sure that your future wife doesn’t ever hear about it.

People are getting Gritty cakes! What if, Gritty was the cake? That’s right, we make the Gritty suit out of cake. The wedding party gets to eat a part of Gritty and experience the mascot phenomenon that has taken the world by storm.

We need to strike now, while the iron is hot. That’s just how blacksmithing works. I expect to hear your yes to my Gritty proposal proposal by end of business. Thank you for your time (although you should really be thanking me).