AWWWW YEEEEAH HOCKEY IS BACK. Or will be when training camp opens on January 3rd. You can read up here on how the season will look a little differently than what we are used to, but the most significant difference is the schedule. Due to travel restrictions, the NHL had to realign for the 2020-21 season — no I will not call it the 2021 season. The new divisions are as follows:
Goodbye Columbus and Carolina, enjoy being top four in your new division (probably). Hello Boston and Buffalo. This sucks. Why can’t we have a division like the West. The Central would also be nice! Hell, I’ll take North. Just not the East. Gross.
The Bruins, well, they’re good! The Sabres are not so much but they do still have Jack Eichel and just added Taylor Hall, who know how much of a pain in the ass he is to play against. The Devils won’t be a problem unless you like to stay awake during hockey games. The Islanders. These bastards. I hate them and their stupid coach and their dumb no talent team that somehow beat our idiot super talented team. Please don’t fact check me on their lack of talent, I don’t want to talk about it. The Rangers, ugh, who knows what they will end up looking like but I can tell you I’m already not happy about it. The Penguins, fuck em, I hope they don’t make the playoffs FOR THE SECOND YEAR IN A ROW. Yeah that’s right, I am in fact keeping score at home. Last but not least, the Capitals with new head coach Peter I-lost-my-god-damn-mind-during-the-2011-playoffs Laviolette. He is going to suck every last drop of talent from that team for long enough to make them annoying this year.
56 games against this group of assholes. E I G H T games each. And that’s just the regular season! Do you feel like reliving the playoff series against the Islanders plus one? I don’t. I also don’t actually think that’s how this season is going to go, that’s just worst case scenario. But I’ve been in Philadelphia long enough to know that sometimes the worst case scenario happens! To us!
So now we have to play eight games each against some of the top talent in the NHL. Awesome. Is there an upside here? Of course there is. The Flyers also have some of the best talent in the NHL. Out of all of those teams I listed, none of them actually scare me. This division will hands down be the most difficult of the four, but there is no reason the Flyers shouldn’t end up in the top four that go to the playoffs. When they remember they are actually on the ice to score because that’s how you win hockey games, they are a really good hockey team. We have the reigning Selke Trophy winner on our side. And Carter Hart. In the end, it’s going to be fine, just annoying.
I personally think blowout hockey games are more fun — when it’s my team that is winning — but who doesn’t want their hearts beating out of their chests for 60 minutes 56 nights of the year? I think that’s what we’re in for this season. Hating more of the same teams we already hate — and Buffalo.
So here we are, in the most difficult division of the realignment. Puck drops on the 2020-21 season January 13, we’ll see you there.
While you’re still hanging out, make sure you come hang out with us for Festivus quizzo!