Here at SB Nation, it’s rivalry week, and perhaps no other sport creates better rivalries than hockey. Whether it’s due to tussling for the division title, meeting each other consistently in the playoffs, or just because someone said something Tie Domi didn’t like, hockey rivalries can take shape in many different ways...so what better team to talk about than the Anaheim Ducks! You know, famed rival of the Flyers, Ducks.
I don’t entirely know why, but I have always had a burning distaste turned loathing for this franchise, at least in the form they’ve existed since 2006-07. So many things about them rub me the wrong way, and while I know many of the things I am about to list are irrational and random, they only serve to constitute the larger whole of why I can’t stand the Ducks.
1. We’ve had to play them on the road in October two years in a row
The Flyers have been consistent victims of the early west coast trip to start seasons, all due to the malignant clown-show of a production called “Disney on Ice”. The show loves to take up the ice space in the Wells Fargo Center, and therefore, when they’re in town the Flyers go to California. This is usually when the Flyers take on the Ducks at the Honda Center, and while the Flyers won both of those early road games in 2017 and 2018, the playing of the Ducks is simply a symptom to the greater disease which is these road trips.
By the way, the Walt Disney Company used to own the Ducks when they were the Mighty Ducks, and therefore, I am convinced there is some conspiracy going on.
2. Ryan Getzlaf and Corey Perry
These two are the worst, huh.
I hate them both because they are two of the dirtiest players in the league, and how they get away with it is beyond me.
Perry is a known cheap-shot artist, and has been for years. Not only does he blatantly slash opponents when they’re down, deliberately fall into goaltenders to injure them, and generally act like a [unsavory word] on the ice, but he gets away with it! More recently, he did this in the winter classic which got him ejected from the game (and finally some punishment in a five game suspension). It also produced one of the best edits I’ve ever seen on a video, below.
Corey Perry's walk of shame but his footsteps are Squidward's pic.twitter.com/CY5BQAYWzt— NSH World President Housecats (@NSHHousecats) January 2, 2020
Getzlaf, equally, is a cheap-shot artist, with one of his most recent offenses coming against Jake Virtanen of the Canucks. In the video, you can clearly see Getzlaf line up the young winger as he skates towards him, and then attempt to sell the hit as an accident by flailing his body as they collide.
It’s absolutely despicable, and these two are possibly the biggest reason why I hate the Ducks.
3. They have a stupid goal horn
Take a listen to this:
I’m sorry, but I didn’t know we were actually on a freighter being called to shore of the coast! This isn’t a goal horn, it’s a fog horn, and it’s disgusting.
4. Their entire existence is a gimmick
Listen, I love The Mighty Ducks as much as anybody. It’s a fantastic film that to this day brings a smile to my face.
However, say what you will about other clubs like the Florida Panthers and San Jose Sharks, but at least they aren’t entirely based off of hype from a children’s movie.
Considering there were already two teams in California before in the Sharks and the Kings, you can’t tell me that the Ducks were created with any other purpose in mind other than to make money for Disney after their movie did well. People forget that they were literally founded by the Walt Disney Company.
5. Their modern uniforms are ugly
Despite what I just said about their gimmicky existence, I adore their original jerseys. The color scheme is just a delight and it all works well with the design.
So tell me why they had to go from that, to boring?
The modern black, gold, and orange Ducks jerseys look like something you’d make in NHL 20, or that an auto-created expansion team would have in FHM 6. It’s just so bland and all-together generic.
6. My brother really likes the Ducks
Ryan, I know you’re going to read this.
Please tell me why, oh why, do you like the Ducks? I know you got drafted by them in like NHL 13, but that is no reason to even give an inch of support to this despicable franchise!
7. They just had to have some of my favorite players
I have a soft spot for two particular guys who have donned the Ducks uniform: Paul Kariya and Teemu Selanne, as most people do. They are NHL legends, Hall-of-Famers, and were electrifyingly brilliant during their careers.
But why did they have to primarily play for the Ducks?
8. The Ducks have been a bogey team for the Flyers
The Flyers’ all time record against the Ducks is 15-18-5, which is solidly in the “not good” category. Out of all the teams to historically struggle against, it just had to be the Ducks, huh.