Listen, like you, I only have so much sports-hate in my heart to spread around. And with that limited supply, the focus of the sports-hate is usually locked on to teams in the Metro Division or, at the very least, in the Eastern Conference. The teams that regularly come up against our Flyers. The teams we see all the time. The teams whose games we are awake for. But, as Philadelphia sports fans, we can find good reason to hate any team — we’re professionals, damnit. So, without further ado, here’s why we hate the Edmonton Oilers.
1. An embarrassment of squandered riches.
Since 2010, the Edmonton Oilers have been awarded not one, not two, not three, but four number one overall draft picks. On top of that, they’ve had five picks in the top ten during that same ten year period. And somehow they still suck. There were assets that could’ve been dealt early, while potential was high, to improve the team’s overall makeup — thinking Nail Yakupov or Jesse Puljujarvi here. They traded Taylor Hall for Adam Larsson. The trade was one for one. They lucked into Connor McDavid AND Leon Draisaitl and somehow still can’t manage to put together a team that wins consistently. Think of what the Flyers would’ve done with all that sauce! It’s maddening.
2. Once they drafted Connor McDavid, they killed Connor McDavid.
The kid knew. He knew right away.
Watching Connor McDavid play hockey is an absolute joy. The speed. The hands. The grease. The wheels. The snipes. Just casually doing stuff like this on a nightly basis like it’s the easiest thing in the world:
Take a look at Connor McDavid in nearly any photo, at nearly any time, and you see the life has been taken from his eyes. The joy, robbed.
SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE CONNOR MCDAVID.
3. They tried to steal our look.
Orange has always been an accent color for the Edmonton Oilers. A small part of their aesthetic; the parsley garnish on their dark blue & white main course. It’s a fine look. Classic, even.
Then, in 2015, they introduced a fully orange jersey.
Excuse me? Bitch stole our look!
Orange belongs to the Flyers. When the league expanded in 1967 the Flyers threw a bright orange bomb into a sea of blues and reds and whites. The orange and black. That’s us, pals. BACK UP OFF OUR LOOK.
Stupid sucky orange-stealing soul-crushing Edmonton Oilers.