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Why we hate the New Jersey Devils

The Battle of the Turnpike is stupid. Stop trying to make it a thing.

NHL: MAR 10 Penguins at Devils Photo by Rich Graessle/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

We’re taking a quick trip up the turnpike for this next installment in the Rivalry Series. The New Jersey Devils, you’re up! We’ve got a lot of thoughts, so let’s just dive right in!

Drew: Oh where to begin. Scott Stevens? The Prudential Center? Trading for Taylor Hall and essentially giving up nothing? Being put in a city in between Flyers and Rangers fans and thus being unnecessary? All of the above.

Maddie: There really is just so much to hate about the Devils, but I’m going to go with these jerseys.

Philadelphia Flyers v New Jersey Devils Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

They’re really just so bad. Everything about them is an affront to everything that is good and holy. The Christmas jerseys are just offensive to me, personally.

Kyle: My hatred for the Devils is a unique one because they just find a way to be so irrelevant but at the same time competitive all at the same time. They have that dumb goal song tradition of chanting “you suck” which is ironic coming from Devils fans. Scott Stevens tried to murder people on the ice and got away with it his entire career and will never be forgiven for what he did to Lindros. The Flyers probably beat Dallas in the Final with a healthy Lindros in 2000 so that’s quite annoying! The Devils just really suck, man.

Brad: While there are a lot of good reasons listed above, i’m going to add one that’s more of just an inconvenience for us all: almost every game the Flyers play against the Devils is excruciatingly boring of late. And it’s been that way for a while now. Will it ever stop? Who’s to say.

Ryan Q.: It took me until my freshman year of college to get into hockey, but the first time I remember thinking “Yeah, screw these guys” was on February 4, 2012 when the Devils beat the actual hell out of the Flyers in Philadelphia. I think the final score was 6-4, but that’s not the important part. All I remember from the game was Ilya Kovalchuk knocking out Brayden Schenn in a fight. Schenn was a rookie at the time, so I decided to hate Kovalchuk from that point forward. What an assface.

Kurt R.: I would like to thank Maddie for calling out the red and green jerseys. People talk about them as if they’re the greatest jerseys to grace the sport of hockey. You know what I think of when I think of Christmas? A fucking Devil. Yeah, totally. Little known fact: the 2013 movie “Krampus: The Christmas Devil” currently has a rating of 16% on Rotten Tomatoes, which actually works out here because 16 percent is roughly the Devils’ winning percentage this season.

That’s it. Spending more than a few seconds at a time thinking about this team is time better spent doing more or less anything else.

Ryan G.: There is just so much to hate about the Devils. “You’re from New Jersey, why aren’t you a Devils fan?” is probably the most insulting thing anyone has ever said to me. The Devils play near a transportation hub and one of the biggest cities in the world, but they held their Stanley Cup parades in a parking lot. A parking lot parade! Can you imagine?

Let’s finish this out with a rapid fire round: Scott Stevens sucks. Martin Brodeur is actual garbage. The trap. Stealing Wayne Simmonds. Getting Taylor Hall for nothing and then wasting him, including an MVP season (an MVP award that Claude Giroux should have won).

Craig: A couple of them have already been mentioned, but I hate them because of Scott Stevens and because they have always been boring. Brad mentioned above about how it’s been a pretty boring matchup lately between the Flyers and Devils, but it’s not like the trap helped that in the 90’s. Ding dongs like Ken Daneyko, Claude Lemieux, and Bobby Holik didn’t make it that much easier to like them or that much more entertaining. I have always felt like the Devils are just something for insecure people in the New York and Philly area who wanted to be loud and annoying about something. I hope Pavel Zacha plays his entire 22-year career in New Jersey and he helps them to 19 straight seasons without a playoff appearance.


But maybe there are still some reasons to like the Devils? It feels weird and maybe a little fake, but here’s what we came up with, all the same.

Brad: I like Taylor Hall. A lot more now that he’s not a Devil, so thanks for that trade.

Ryan Q.: I’m a fan of P.K. Subban. Seems like a swell guy.

Kurt R.: I like that I’ve been able to make a number of jokes about how they won the offseason this past summer. That’s a good thing.

Craig: To go off Kurt’s point here the amount of jokes about being the offseason champs, not having fans, or Martin Brodeur are the only positives about the Devils.

Ryan G.: They drafted Pavel Zacha with the sixth overall pick in the 2015 NHL Entry Draft. That was pretty neat. I wonder if they had a better player available to them that was selected with the very next pick?

Drew: No

Kelly: Yeah I gotta go with Drew here, hard no.

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