Welcome to TankWatch. The only place you need to look at to cheer on Philadelphia Flyers losses and other terrible teams’ victories.
It is the beginning of a new week of Flyers hockey. Spring is in the air and prospects are on the mind. There were significant debuts in the past and even more in the future. But that’s enough about development and players currently under contracts, let’s try to lose some available points to get a shot at good players this summer.
Here’s a brief look at how things are shaking down for the next couple of days:
Chicago Blackhawks — 10 games remaining, 59 points
At the top of the Bad Hockey Team Pile, are the Blackhawks and their downright terribly bad season. Luckily for us, they have an opportunity to pull away from the rest of the pack with games against the Los Angeles Kings and San Jose Sharks; with the former just bailing out on a three-goal lead against the Minnesota Wild on Sunday and the latter just downright sucking bad. Just a couple mediocre teams going at it, so at least it’s fairly even chances for Chicago to not be a tank threat.
Ottawa Senators — 10 games remaining, 58 points
The Sens, oh the Sens. The quirky team from up north has kept a steady presence down at the bottom of the league and similar to Chicago, they have a potential big win for them as they face the Detroit Red Wings on Tuesday. Unfortunately for us, that want them desperately to get their late-season shit together and earn some points, their two games after that are against the Boston Bruins and the Toronto Maple Leafs. One could hope for another Toronto disaster, but their monthly quota seemed to have been met.
Philadelphia Flyers — 10 games remaining, 57 points
It doesn’t feel good to be sad when this team scores goals — if you are reading this article, you are most likely pro-tank — but there’s really nothing else to think about other than what the younger guys can do and where they finish in the overall standings. As we all know after watching this team for 72 entire games they can lose at any place and any time, but with upcoming games against the Washington Capitals on Tuesday and New York Rangers on Wednesday, that feels like a solid and safe zero points earned.
New Jersey Devils — 10 games remaining, 56 points
Oh the poor teams that are below the Flyers, how the heck did you get there? First up, is the Devils and even if they won the off-season, they could not escape the grasping fist of actually playing hockey games. It’s a truly mixed bag for New Jersey, but at least there will be some positives. On Tuesday, they will be facing the also-bad Coyotes for a game that we are all hoping goes into overtime, and then on Thursday they will get gut-punched by the NHL’s best Colorado Avalanche. Maybe we can cheer for an upset, but betting against the Avs feels foolish.
New Jersey appears to be the team to really cheer for (gross) the remaining season and it would be big if they can suddenly jolt themselves up above the Flyers at the end.
Seattle Kraken — 10 games remaining, 52 points
This is where we are doubtful that any of these teams will give enough effort to suddenly finish above Philadelphia. The Kraken do have their second-overall pick Matty Beniers making his debut on Tuesday against the Calgary Flames, so maybe that can give them some more winning potential, and even on Wednesday, they’re facing the mediocre Winnipeg Jets, which could be also a win. Maybe the Kraken will finish with 56 points by the end of just two games. We are all Beniers fans.
Montreal Canadiens — 9 games remaining, 51 points
Les habitants have fewer games remaining and fewer opportunities to get points than any other team, but maybe Carey Price returning will be enough to get some of those precious wins down the stretch. In the first half of this week, it’s only a game against the Columbus Blue Jackets, so who truly knows what can go on there?
Arizona Coyotes — 10 games remaining, 49 points
There is simply no chance that the Coyotes are moving up. It would be a catastrophic failure of an intentional tank job to have multiple teams leapfrog you for the bottom spot. Should we even think about their upcoming games? We don’t even really want to think about this team.
Thank you for tuning in to TankWatch.