It’s Halloween and you know what that means – horror movies! I thought it would be fun to assign a horror or Halloween movie to each Flyer. Well, most of the Philadelphia Flyers. It’s a lot to pick stuff for guys like Rodrigo Abols and Noah Juulsen!
Rick Tocchet – The Faculty
The 1998 sci-fi horror flick The Faculty is all about defying authority figures, as a group of high school students see their teachers replaced by aliens. Now I am not remotely accusing Rick Tocchet and his cohorts behind the Flyers bench of being aliens. But we don’t know that they’re NOT aliens!
Danny Briere – The Lost Boys
Look at that pale complexion and dark hair! Danny Briere just screams vampire! On top of that, the title The Lost Boys just screams the state of the Philadelphia Flyers when Briere took over as general manager. I know this goes against the vampire point I JUST made, but Briere and Jonesy (Keith Jones, duh) remind me of the Coreys (Haim and Feldman) that help our protagonists root out the evil in Santa Carla. Now, we need Gritty to recreate the sax scene from this movie.
Sean Couturier – Halloween
Coots is slow as heck, but he moves with purpose. This is incredibly similar to Halloween’s Michael Myers, who is notoriously slow moving, but always seems to catch up to his victims. Maybe we should start calling Sean Couturier “The Shape”.
Matvei Michkov – The Omen
Michkov looks a little bit like Damien from The Omen. Much like Damien, if the Flyers don’t do what Michkov wants, bad things happen. At least they did last year, this year they seem to be making out pretty well so far despite some early season struggles from Matvei.
Travis Konecny – Gremlins
T.K. feeds off of chaos. The more chaotic, the better for Konecny. What is more chaotic than Gremlins? Specifically, Teeks gives off big time vibes from the Gremlin with a mohawk.
Trevor Zegras – A Nightmare on Elm Street
Much like Freddy Krueger, Zegras has a flair for the dramatic. Look at that awesome pass he made to Christian Dvorak last week where he looked off the puck before firing that biscuit to 22 by the front of the net. Ziggy is also having a great time trash-talking his opponents, notably mocking Connor Dewar’s mustache in the Flyers shootout win over the Pittsburgh Penguins on Tuesday. Freddy is the GOAT of horror movie trash talk.
Noah Cates, Tyson Foerster, and Bobby Brink – Hocus Pocus
The line of Cates, Foerster, and Brink are basically inseparable at this point. They’re a tremendous magical trio, just like the Sanderson sisters in Hocus Pocus.
Owen Tippett and Cam York – Child’s Play
These two players are gingers, hellooooooooooooooooooo!!!
Garnet Hathaway – The Shining
I can just see Garnet’s head sticking out of a hole in a door that he chopped out himself with an axe and shouting, “Heeeeere’s Garny!” Garnet is also basically the team dad at this point, and having to babysit that many kids would make any man go a little bit mad.
Christian Dvorak – The Conjuring
The Conjuring is not the flashiest horror franchise, but it’s solid and always entertaining. Dvorak gets the job done. He gets to be the responsible guy who plays with Zegras and Michkov. Not a huge swing, but it works!
Nikita Grebenkin – Terrifier
Much like recent Flyers attendee, Art the Clown, Grebenkin is always smiling as he inflicts violence upon his opponents.
Nic Deslauriers – The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
D-Lo makes art out of pummeling his opponents, much like Leatherface makes art dancing with his chainsaw at the end of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Travis Sanheim – Saw
Sanheim’s selection as Saw is based solely on how many damn Saw movies there are. Did you know that there are 10 Saw movies!? This is similar to the reaction that I have when I see how many minutes that Sanheim is putting in on the Flyers blue line each night. Sanheim’s average time on ice has steadily ticked up the past few seasons to the point where he is now averaging 26:39 a night.
Jamie Drysdale – Weapons
Drysdale is quick, but he needs a lot of direction from his coaches. Thankfully he doesn’t have to skate with his arms out at his side and only in a straight line.
Nick Seeler – The Evil Dead
Seels gives me real Ash from The Evil Dead vibes. Can’t you just see him attaching a chainsaw to where his hand used to be and fighting evil incarnate? It’s definitely the jawline. Groovy.
Rasmus Ristolainen – The Invisible Man
Get it, because no one has seen him since February? Risto is invisible! Get it???
Dan Vladar – Friday the 13th
Dan Vladar is a large human being, standing tall at 6’5”. For such a large man, he’s able to move his body surprisingly quickly, posting stellar numbers through the first month of the Flyers season. When I think about a large man who can move surprisingly quickly in horror, there’s only one name that comes to mind – Jason Voorhees. Crystal Lake’s most famous resident is lowkey quick! Also, Jason wears a 70s goalie mask, so you kind of have to give him to a goalie.
Sam Ersson – Let the Right One In
It’s Swedish, like Sam Ersson. The name sounds like it’s related to goaltending. What else could Sammy be if not Let the Right One In?
Big stick tap to JayPo and Kyle from BSH for assisting with a couple of these! Happy Halloween, and make sure you’re wearing your orange and black.
