I would like to formally apologize to the hockey gods for our hubris as Philadelphia Flyers fans. Once the Flyers went up three games to zero in their series with the Pittsburgh Penguins, we got a little cocky. Look, we haven’t been in the Stanley Cup Playoffs in six years. We haven’t had a home playoff game in eight years. We haven’t had a home playoff win in 10 years. As a wise text once mistakenly sent to me said “Im sorry for some things I said and for throwing ketchup at wall. Emotions got best of me.”
Flyers fans operate on a scale of cocky to distraught, with very little in between. After a Game 3 home victory that put the team up 3-0 over our most hated rivals of the past 20 years, you have to understand that the needle would break off at the cocky end.
Flyers fans were feeling on top of the city of Philadelphia for the first time in a long time. The Sixers have been blown out a couple of times in their series against the Boston Celtics. The Phillies recently ended a 10-game losing streak and fired their manager, Rob Thomson. The Eagles are in the offseason currently and are rumored to be trading star receiver A.J. Brown to the New England Patriots at some point over the summer, likely after Mike Vrabel finishes his apology tour. There is Flyers gear everywhere in the city for the first time in a long time. Philly is a hockey town again!
Okay, okay, maybe we got a little ahead of ourselves. As we learned in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, only the penitent man will pass.
We formally apologize for our hubris. We do not need to learn a lesson by suffering a humiliating loss at those mayo lovers across the commonwealth. What will it take? I’ll wear my ugly 3D logo Peter Forsberg jersey on camera. I’ll acknowledge that not all of the Penguins jerseys are total trash. I’ll even try to stop complaining about the officiating for one whole day (but seriously how is Mantha getting away with throwing a full sparring session at the Travii and treating Luke Glendening like it’s WRESTLEMANIA?)
I know you wise, mighty hockey gods can be cruel. I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. The Legion of Doom struck down by the Russian Five. I watched Scott Stevens disintegrate our beloved Eric Lindros into oblivion. I watched aghast as Patrick Kane scored the game-winning goal for the 2010 Stanley Cup from an impossible angle. All those moments are stuck in my head forever, never to be lost in time.
Now, I see you pulling the strings yet again, hockey gods. The Penguins’ game-winning goal in Game 5 was from another insane angle. It was a total fluke. This is more of your punishment nonsense! We repent!
Please, we need this. We are already starting to see people try to tear this team apart before they get going with nonsense Twitter rumors and misinformation. We have been punished for too long. We’ll be good and try to live somewhere in the middle of cocky and distraught. Come on, you owe us for Nolan Patrick and Ryan Ellis.
