Have you ever wondered what is good and what is bad? Do you wish that someone could compile all the data to create a list that proves it? Well, I’m here to introduce you to the Weekly Power Rankings–a definitive list of what’s good and what’s bad in the BSH-verse this week.
TOP FIVE
1. Travis Konecny
Debuting at our top spot, TK returned to the lineup for the first time in six games and picked up where he left off, scoring the only Flyers goal in their 4-1 loss to the Lightning. He was working on a point-streak before the injury, getting up to seven games in a row before leaving midway through the Bruins game on November 17. He then scored again on Saturday against the Devils and now has 12 points in his last 10 games played.
2. Bad Santa (dir. Terry Zwigoff, 2003)
Just barely missing out on the no. 1 ranking, Zwigoff’s biggest hit as a director is an early-December favorite in our house and still packs as much wit as it did when it was first released almost two decades. True black comedies have become more and more of a tightrope and have become pretty scarce in the entertainment landscape nowadays. Well, studio comedies have become pretty scarce themselves, but that’s neither here nor there. This one nails the black and the comedy square between the eyes and still holds up.
3. The Flyers’ lottery odds
The Flyers’ position at the bottom of the NHL took a hit with that win on Tuesday, but got back on track thanks to losses at the hands of the Lightning and the Devils this past week. The Flyers now sit at seventh-best odds to draft first overall and just three standings points from the top three.
4. A Philly Special Christmas by Jason Kelce, Lane Johnson, and Jordan Mailata
Kelce, Johnson, and Mailata have apparently recorded an entire Christmas album and have already released some singles, including “Blue Christmas” and one of my absolute favorite holiday songs, “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home).” Is it good? Hard to say. They’re not Darlene Love or anything but it’s pretty listenable. And it exists, and that’s good enough for me. The offensive line’s entire album will be out on December 23 and will be available at Eagles pro-shops and online.
Go Birds.
5. This Claude Giroux breakaway goal
Heavy sigh:
Claude Giroux casually unloading a slap-shot bomb on the breakaway pic.twitter.com/NP3sPrYNLd
— Brady Trettenero (@BradyTrett) December 4, 2022
Honorable mentions to: two of Terry Zwigoff’s other films, the underrated gems Crumb and Ghost World; this Media, PA teenage skateboarder; the cracking-open of advent calendars; always being a few days late on the advent calendars; and Steven Stamkos’ 1,000th career point, scored against the Flyers this week.
BOTTOM FIVE
1. The New York Islanders
The Flyers finally broke through in the win column against the New York Islanders after 10 consecutive games lost. The Philly lineup has been giving pretty strong AHL vibes these past few weeks, so any NHL team that can lose to them–even if they beat them just three days earlier–is deserving of the inaugural top spot in our bottom 5.
2. Bad Santa (dir. Terry Zwigoff, 2003) on cable TV
I couldn’t watch more than five minutes of this on Pop or whatever that channel is called, because the movie can’t go more than five seconds without foul language. And the TV version, at least the one I was watching, didn’t even try to substitute anything in, it just bleeped them all out. It’s not that I need to hear curses, but it was unbearable. It was like Billy Bob Thornton was driving through a tunnel. Luckily, Bad Santa is streaming on Paramount+ right now and, luckily, my wife pays for access to the Big Brother live feeds, so I have Paramount+. If we didn’t, this might’ve overtaken the Islanders for worst of the week.
3. Kieffer Bellows
Since the Flyers scooped Bellows up on waivers in October, he’s gone pointless in 11 games for the orange and black, including the back-to-back contests against his former team. And now he may have lost his spot in the lineup, as the Flyers placed him on waivers on Friday. The other 31 NHL teams all passed on him, meaning he may be hitting the ice in the Lehigh Valley for a bit.
4. Philippe Myers
Speaking of, this former Flyer defenseman was also placed on waivers by the Tampa Bay Lightning. He was originally signed as an undrafted free agent by the Flyers and played 115 games across three seasons here in Philadelphia. Since being traded with Nolan Patrick for Ryan Ellis two offseasons ago, Myers has struggled to find a permanent home at the NHL level, dressing for just 27 games for Nashville last year and 11 for Tampa this year before this demotion.
5. Cyber Monday
It seems we’ve all collectively agreed–with some help from a global pandemic–that opening stores late on Thanksgiving Day and forcing minimum wage employees to work through the night while facing frantic and rude shoppers was a bad idea. But now all the online deals are pretty terrible, too. Unless you’re looking for something specific, scrolling through Amazon or your site of choice is a wasteland of things that nobody needs for 13% off an already-inflated sticker price. Black Friday, and Cyber Monday with it, may just be dying a slow, well-deserved death.
Honorable mentions to: the US men’s national soccer team; the traffic light at 20th and Washington Ave.; when its cold but not cold enough that it snows; and the Devils being good.
