There may not be any hockey going on, but the Summer Olympics have just begun in Paris. In honor of the 2024 Games getting underway, let’s answer the question that everyone is asking: What events would the current Philadelphia Flyers be playing in?
Matvei Michkov – Tennis
For the new face of the franchise, he’s going to head to the clay of Roland Garros to play some Olympic tennis. During last season and especially in the months leading up to his official arrival to Philadelphia, Michkov posted quite a few Instagram stories and pictures of him hitting the tennis court in his free time. Good luck against Carlos Alcaraz, Matvei.
Travis Konecny – Shooting
Philadelphia’s new 70 million dollar man has been well known to pick a corner on the ice, so Konecny is off to the shooting range, naturally.
Travis Sanheim – Equestrian
Sanheim’s got at least one photo with a ton of horses on his Instagram, and that’s all that’s needed to match him to Equestrian.
Joel Farabee/Tyson Foerster – Beach Volleyball
The Mojoel Dojoel Casa House has to know its way around the Jersey Shore, and thus a beach volleyball net, right? Foerster would be a blocking machine at the net, and Joel will do whatever a beach volleyball player is supposed to do. Confident in this one.
Cam York – Surfing
Because he’s one of few Flyers from a warm weather place, I’m willing to bet the Anaheim native can use a surfboard. See you on the water, Cam.
Owen Tippett – Long Jump
I’m not quite sure the ins and outs of long jump technique, but there’s no way that speed doesn’t help. And Owen Tippett’s got a ton of that, no doubt.
Jamie Drysdale – Skateboarding
The Flyers smoothest skater should be able to shred, in my opinion. He’s the only logical choice for this event.
Garnet Hathaway – Weightlifting
Hathaway was just rewarded with another contract because he brought that gritty, in your face style while still being able to drive play on a fourth line. Doubly impressive when you consider he had to carry Nic Deslauriers quite frequently. He has to be good in the gym for that kinda heavy lifting, right?
Noah Cates – Wrestling
If there’s anything about Cates as a player that’s exceptional, he’s remarkably good at wrestling the puck away on the forecheck, and that’s all the logic I can apply to this one.
Ryan Poehling – Sport Climbing
The whole point of this sport is to move faster than your opponent, so it sounds like the perfect job for Ryan Poehling.
Nick Seeler – Shot Put
Have the weirdest feeling that Nick Seeler, known Torts favorite, would be really good at throwing the shot to really really long distances.
Sam Ersson – Badminton
Badminton requires some darn good reflexes to be even passable in the sport, so I think the racket can be trusted in Ersson’s glove hand.
Rasmus Ristolainen, Ivan Fedotov, Sean Couturier – 3v3 Basketball
Did I just put together some of the tallest guys on the roster? Yes. Do I know if any of them can play basketball? Next question.
Bobby Brink – Trampoline
Remember this clip from earlier in the year? Imagine that, but without skates, on a trampoline, and much much higher in the air.
Morgan Frost – Golf
Like Morgan Frost or not as a player, he’s got some hands and playmaking abilities. Maybe it translates and he can drive, chip, and putt with the best of them. He’s also been known to golf in the offseason, so there’s that too.
Egor Zamula – Field Hockey
Unfortunately, Egor Zamula is getting stuck with the cop out answer. He’s simply going to play a modified, less cool version of the ice sport.
Nic Deslauriers – Boxing
This video is about the only explanation necessary.
Erik Johnson – Archery
I was truthfully scared to give Johnson anything where his 36 year old, 987 NHL games, worn down body would be on the line. So, our No. 7 defenseman gets to trade his hockey stick for a bow and arrow.
Scott Laughton – Artistic Gymnastics or Artistic Swimming
If his recent video with Gritty is any indication, Scott Laughton is totally willing to put himself out there, and he’s got the confidence to attempt something artistic. Maybe Scott and Gritty can do some kind of routine.
