If you like football, you probably heard Tuesday’s news. Arizona Cardinals defensive end and Houston Texans legend J.J. Watt is hanging up the cleats at the conclusion of the season.
The five-time Pro Bowler has logged 111.5 sacks in his career, and he has a chance to add to that number in his two remaining games. However, he unfortunately will not have an opportunity to compete for a Super Bowl as the Cardinals have already been eliminated from playoff contention.
At this point, you might be wondering what J.J. Watt has to do with hockey. Well, it turns out he used to play hockey, and he appears to be quite good at it.
Pretty impressive moves. In fact, those moves are so impressive that perhaps it’s time for Chuck Fletcher, the trusted and renowned general manager of the Philadelphia Flyers, to pick up the phone and make some calls.
J.J. Watt, one of the most dominant football players to ever walk the earth, needs to be a Flyer.
Here are five reasons why.
1. He’s a large, powerful man
Smarts and skills only go so far for this Flyers club. Size matters in Philadelphia, and Watt is an enormous human with lots of toughness and grit — two attributes the Flyers look for in anyone involved with the organization.
Watt is listed at 6-foot-5 and 288 pounds. Think of the carnage Watt would inflict on opposing teams’ star players. It would be a blood bath. He’d earn the Wells Fargo Great Check of the Game on a nightly basis.
Watt on a pairing with Rasmus Ristolainen? There would be no survivors.
Now that would be hard to play against.
2. He’s a leader
Everyone knows Watt is an unbelievable athlete, but did you know he’s also known for having excellent character? It’s true!
In 2017, Watt was given the Walter Payton NFL Man of the Year Award for his “commitment to philanthropy and community impact, as well as his excellence on the field.” He was the heart and soul of the Texans for a decade, and he remained the unquestioned top dog in Arizona when he joined the Cardinals in 2021.
Next captain of the Flyers? It’s basically written in the stars.
3. He is from Wisconsin, which is near Minnesota, which is a place Chuck Fletcher seems to really like
Noah Cates. Justin Braun. Nick Seeler. Kieffer Bellows. What do these people all have in common?
They’re all from Minnesota!
The Flyers’ general manager sure loves bringing in people from Minnesota — or people who have played for the Minnesota Wild at one time. And that makes sense since he used to be the general manager for the Wild (before they fired him).
Seeler, Nic Deslauriers, Louie Belpedio and former Flyers legend Gerry Mayhew all played for the Wild. Bobby Brink, one of the Flyers’ top prospects, is also from the Land of 10,000 Lakes.
Yeah, Watt may not be from Minnesota, but he’s from Wisconsin. And Wisconsin is essentially just East Minnesota. It’s perfect.
4. He has a page on Elite Prospects
That’s right. Much like Connor McDavid, Nathan MacKinnon and some of the other elite hockey players in the world, J.J. Watt does, in fact, have an Elite Prospects profile.
There’s no way that’s a coincidence.
Granted, when you look at his Elite Prospects page, he has exactly zero statistics logged from his stint with the Wisconsin AAA 14U team during the 2001-02 season. But that seems off. He definitely averaged at least two points per game, and there’s no reason to believe he wouldn’t be able to do the same in the NHL now at 33 years old.
5. He’s handsome
It’s been quite a long time since the Flyers had a true sexual deviant on the squad, and J.J. Watt would certainly make up for the lost ground.
Unlike Henrik Lundqvist, J.J. Watt is actually very handsome and attractive.
Look at that smile! And those teeth! Add in the fact that he can probably bench press a dump truck and it’s hard to imagine he wouldn’t become an immediate heartthrob in Philadelphia.
The Flyers probably won’t do it, but this man deserves an NHL contract immediately. And there’s no better place for him to play than the City of Brotherly Love.
