Why we hate the New York Islanders

Too many New York teams.

Our Rivalry Week series tour of the Metro finally turns to one of the New York teams! Not the one that plays in the train station, the one that plays in... Brooklyn? Long Island? Have they moved again? Is there another home? I don’t even know what’s happening anymore, gang. Anyway, we’re here to talk about why we hate the Islanders. Let’s get into it.

Drew: I hate the Isles. They could honestly put the Honda car they have parked at the Barclay’s Center at left wing and they’d still find a way to win, it’s ridiculous. Maybe this isn’t the case because he’s a good coach, but the Islanders get the most ridiculous Barry Trotz driven luck, and I for one am done with that.

Kyle: I just really hate that this team is semi-competitive despite a truly garbage roster. They always seem to get goals in the most strange ways to hang around in games and then hockey being the crapshoot it can be takes over. Cal Clutterbuck is also arguably a top five most annoying player in hockey and I can’t wait for the day he’s out of the division finally. Also, Bob Nystrom was offsides. I may not have been born for another 15 years after that game, but my point remains valid.

Ryan Q.: I don’t think I have a problem with any of the players on the Islanders. I just hate that they overachieve so much. It’s really annoying. Like, they’re supposed to be bad — Matt Martin is a regular in their lineup, and somehow they’ve managed to be a decent team anyway. Just really grinds me gears, ya know?

Craig: Back in 2013 I went to a Flyers-Hurricanes game. I sat next to one of the most obnoxious fans I’ve ever sat next to at a game that night, but the twist was they were...an Islanders’ fan. Throughout the game he kept calling Max Talbot ‘Maxine’ Talbot and then would stand and scream each time the Flyers took a penalty before (I’m not kidding) his grandmother came to our section to pick him up for a drive home. Fuck that guy and fuck the Islanders.

Maddie: I honestly just refuse to believe that this team is actually good, and the fact that they continue to get mostly good results while regularly icing Cal Clutterbuck and Matt Martin and also playing the most boring brand of hockey on the planet fills me with rage. I can’t wait for the wheels to come off and for us to finally get to stop pretending they’re good. I’m over it. Also the car inside the Barclays Center is dumb. Thx.

Ryan G.: Maddie hit the nail on the head with how baffling it is that the Islanders are somehow good. They lost John Tavares, and while Mat Barzal is a good and fun, their roster outside of him is pretty lackluster. The Coliseum is OK, but the Barclays Center is a horrible place to watch a hockey game.

But maybe we can think of like one thing we like about the Islanders? Maybe we can be nice for a minute? What do we think, gang?

Maddie: I like Mat Barzal, he’s a lot of fun. It’s a shame this team is probably gonna waste at least most of his prime like they did with Tavares. Not to be a downer or anything...

Ryan Q.: Mathew Barzal is fun to watch. Can’t really think of anything else.