Rivalry Week at SB Nation rolls on with a team from a city that actually sucks: the Dallas Stars. We’re taking our shots at all of the teams around the league, but everyone in Philadelphia knows that Dallas sucks. And that shouldn’t just be limited to the football field.
From Brett Hull cheating, to Jamie Benn not eating, the Stars are hateable across the board. Let’s get to it.
Stars fans are (likely) Cowboys fans
Dallas sucks. Period.
Sometimes it’s easy to forget that fans of a very hateable in one league are the same fans of a seemingly innocuous team in another.
The St. Louis Blues winning their first Stanley Cup last year is a heartwarming story of a team building its way toward a championship. That is until you remember that St. Louis is the same city that hosts the Cardinals, who have had some success relatively recently.
The Stars could be a fun, scrappy team to root for if they played in another city; but they don’t. They play in Dallas with the cockroach Cowboy fans.
They couldn’t make it in “The State of Hockey”
As Ryan Quigley outlined as he spewed his hate for the Minnesota Wild, the North Stars had to relocate from Minnesota due to low attendance numbers and a horrible owner.
The Minnesota North Stars relocated to Dallas (partially because of former Cowboys quarterback Roger Staubach) in 1993 due to a lack of interest from fans as well as an issue stemming from another sign of their failure just 15 years prior.
The Stars came this close to not existing
Over a decade before thinking about relocating to Dallas, the North Stars had various problems of their own. Poor play in the 1970s led to financial problems, and worries that the franchise would fold. With the Stars and Cleveland Barons both on the verge of folding, they merged in 1978 with the league’s permission.
The two teams merging improved the play on the ice, simply because a player pool of two rosters is better than one. That couldn’t save them, however, which ultimately led to the Barons’ former owners launching the San Jose Sharks as an expansion franchise. The Sharks were able to take some players from the Stars, which ultimately led to the relocation.
If the Stars dissolved instead of the Barons, the Dallas Stars wouldn’t even exist.
Brett Hull’s skate was in the crease
I know it. You know it. Hell, even Brett Hull knows it.
The Stars’ lone Stanley Cup came on a goal that should have never been allowed.
They lost to the Devils in the following Stanley Cup Final
One year after cheating their way to their first Cup, it looked like they were poised for another one.
The Stars lost just one game in each of the first two rounds before taking the Avalanche to seven games to reach the Stanley Cup Final. They got blown out 7-3 in Game 1 against the Devils and it was all downhill from there.
This just doesn’t look right
It’s not the Stars’ fault per se, but when you think of players that don’t belong in certain jerseys, this is one of them.
Eric Lindros played for the New York Rangers, Toronto Maple Leafs, and Dallas Stars after his storied career in Philadelphia.
Steve Ott is bad
Claude Giroux never said Steve Ott was bad, but I will.
The Stars center challenged Giroux, boasting that he was fifth in the league in faceoffs. Giroux went on to win the faceoff, and Peter Laviolette dunked on Ott as the teams went to the locker room for intermission.
They employ Corey Perry
Corey Perry was one of the main reasons that the Anaheim Ducks are so hated, and that stigma carries over to the Stars.
Perry was well past his prime when the Stars signed him last offseason, and it showed. He had just five goals and 21 points this season.
He showed that he still had a dirty play (or several) in him, however. Just 38 seconds into the Winter Classic, he received a game misconduct (and was suspended five games) for elbowing Ryan Ellis.
The mooterus jersey
*squints eyes*
*clears throat*#Mooterus https://t.co/kJvKUOk9TU pic.twitter.com/VhOOWmYExu
— x-Dallas Stars (@DallasStars) November 15, 2019
That’s it. That’s the tweet.
Speaking of the uterus…
Jamie Benn is not a generous lover
If you know, you know. If you don’t … well, ask a friend.
Dallas sucks
Go Birds.
