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Flyers, get a puppy already you cowards

All over the NHL teams are getting adorable, fluffy little unofficial mascots and yet the Flyers are nowhere to be found.

Flyers, I beg you: get a puppy already.

Of all the uninspiring things that have transpired this offseason for the Flyers, this is by far their most egregious. Not the massive Kevin Hayes contract (Which is really fine), or the Justin Braun trade (Which is really not fine), or even the odd Radko Gudas for Matt Niskanen swap (Which really is something).

The trend started with —of all teams the Rangers— who introduced a very good service dog in training last year and several other NHL clubs have followed suit with each one looking darn near cuter than the last one.

Just the other day the Lightning, fresh off an embarrassing first round sweep at the hands of the Blue Jackets, unveiled Bolt, who is a clearly a very good boy. If Bolt doesn’t help bring Lightning fans some joy after their recent playoff failures, nothing will.

Service dogs provide an immeasurably valuable service to the courageous humans that need their help, and it’s really great to see NHL teams getting involved in helping any way they can. For more information about just how important service dogs are, check out the International Guide Dog Federation’s site right here.

The Flyers should 100% be joining the club because not only would it benefit someone in great need down the line, it would also get the team some badly needed positive PR. Flyers nation as a whole is incredibly apathetic right now, in part for good reason, so give them something that they’ll instantly love and do some good while you’re at it. Plus, current Flyers Shayne Gostisbehere and Claude Giroux lead the team with a slew of awesome doggos so there’s no doubt the team would be onboard.

You could even name him Clarkie! Think about it, it’s not an impawssibly hard.

When the Flyers FINALLY get a puppy, what should they name it?

Clarkie (Bobby Clarke) 97
Rexy (After the 70’s teams beloved bar) 72
Tommy Soderstrom 10
Homer (Paul Holmgren tribute) 15
Hexy (lol) 15
Hammer (Dave Schultz) 104
Rifle (Reggie Leach) 8
The Germ (Not German Rubstov’s nickname) 4
Chico (Robert Esche) 7
Pelle (RIP) 77
Rat (Ken Linesman)

2
Mr. Universe (Bryz) 9
Fog (Fred Shero) 19
Moose (Brian Elliott/Andre Dupont) 17
Rod the Bod (Rod Brind’Amour 7
Rico (Eric Desjardins) 21
Kate Smith 39
Lappy (Best PK coach) 9
Kappy (Sami Kapanen) 10

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